Magpie Memories – It’s OK, I’m Wearing Really Big Knickers

aka as “On the Bright Side I’m Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God”

As you may have guessed, this is the second book in the Georgia Nicolson series! Georgia got together with Robbie the Sex God at the end of book one… only to be told by her mum that they’re going to New Zealand to visit her dad in Whangamata (a trip which they have somehow managed to arrange at incredibly short notice). Misery ensues… until her dad breaks his foot after getting his shoes blown off by a rogue bore (?!?!) and comes home instead. Georgia waits a ludicrously long time for Robbie to call, they have a date, then he dumps her for being too young (which she is). In revenge, Georgia goes out with a boy called Dave the Laugh (DAVE THE LAUGH) to make Robbie jealous, but she feels a bit bad about it, and breaks up with him, and he seems genuinely sad. It turns out Robbie was jealous, they get back together, and Dave ends up with Ellen. The end. OR IS IT (no.)

THOUGHTS OF WISDOMOSITY:

  • I’m tracking the timing of these now to try and make any kind of sense of what’s actually happening or whether we’re in a Babysitters’ Club world where everything is sort of perpetual but not really. This one begins in July, straight after we left of in ATaFFS, and finishes in October. Georgia should DEFINITELY be 15 by now, but it seems like she isn’t. She mentions at some point either in this one or the last one phoning the Libra hotline, which actually means she should be 16 by the end of this one, yet she’s not even 15. Either she’s phoning the wrong hotline or no one else actually cares about this as much as I do. Anyway, until she says otherwise, will assume she’s 14.
  • I hate when they change titles/lingo for US/UK audiences. It seems weird that they just… don’t expect kids to ask or look it up. And yes, I know this was before everyone had the internet (I don’t think it’s really mentioned at all in this series in fact, or computers at all for that matter) but I didn’t have the internet as a child and I looked stuff up all the time. I’m not saying it’s always possible, but learning how to figure things out from context is part of, well, learning.
  • I know Georgia seems completely ridiculous for being upset about going to New Zealand as an adult, but I can sort of see it from her perspective. Time has a different quality when you’re that age – a few weeks doesn’t just seem like forever, it IS. Because you’re changing so fast, and so is everyone and everything else around you. Of course it’s bratty, but it’s understandable.
  • I wonder how old Georgia’s parents are supposed to be?
  • It is really, really weird to remember being at that stage where expressing romantic interest in someone was so terrifying. In fairness, I have been in the same relationship for nearly ten years so it’s hard to remember anything about that kind of thing at all, but still. Even the way that admitting to other people that you like someone was a Big Deal.
  • The depiction of catcalling in these so far is spot on. It’s just so nonsensical and baffling most of the time? Not that it’s not creepy and threatening, but it’s also just really weird? Why do guys say these things? When the guy does the weird pretending-to-be-boob-juggling thing it reminded me of a time a construction guy who had to be at least fifty remarked “bouncing well” to me as I walked past. Is there such a thing as bouncing badly? Who can say?
  • When they’re talking about whether or not they have to wear bras I am so jealous. I have not had that option for a very, very long time.
  • Georgia seems exceptionally confused by things that seem odd to be confused about when you’re 14, like having hair on her legs. I guess I was just used to it by that age, but maybe it’s just me?
  • Sometimes the clothes descriptions are really weird. Like, a turtle neck crop top and capri trousers? That sounds monstrous looking.
  • Tom is going away on work experience? When we did work experience it was for a week, it was local, and it was thoroughly pointless. (Although I did mine in a library, to which I say, I knew all along what my career should be, even if I’ve got here in a roundabout way!)
  • What is the point in going out with someone you can’t have a conversation with properly? I’ve literally never understood that. Life is a rich tapestry and all, but I don’t think I’ve ever fancied someone that I couldn’t imagine having a laugh (hint hint) with.
  • The scene with Rosie lighting her fringe on fire gives me life.
  • Robbie’s letter ending the relationship is, on one hand, essentially right. Georgia is too young, and, even more than that, they have fundamentally mismatched personalities. I’m not convinced that Robbie has a sense of humour, and Georgia is like 90% jokes. On the other hand, doing it in a letter is a shitebag move (and I say this as an inveterate shitebag when it comes to breaking up with people) and he sounds so fucking po-faced that I’m basically annoyed at him.
  • “Elastic band theory” is exactly the sort of stupid bullshit I would have bought into at this age. Also appearing to be mature by pretending to have no feelings.
  • The lunchbox beret sounds so uncomfortable.
  • HUNKY AND PO. I’m legit with Georgia on this one, those nicknames are are naff AF.
  • Honestly I think Jas telling Tom about Georgia’s nipple emergency (wet top + cold) was way worse than the Hunky and Po thing.
  • Because of these books I always imagine that boobs make a “nunga-nunga-nunga” sound when you bobble them around.
  • I’m not going to keep mentioning it but the homophobia towards Miss Stamp (in particular, but not exclusively) is really tiring.
  • But it’s okay because
  • DAVE THE LAUGH. DAVE THE LAUGH HAS FINALLY APPEARED EVERYONE.
  • DAVE THE LAUGH.
  • Sorry, I’ll calm down. I just LOVE DtL here. He’s like, exactly the boyfriend I would have wanted at this age. I think the difference between me and Georgia is that I would totally have been distracted from the SG by him.
  • I mean – he comes to watch her play hockey and everything! That’s true love.
  • And then she dumps him. I totally get it, intellectually, because she’s still hung up on Robbie. On an emotional note, I hate it and it is merde.
  • Then Robbie magically decides to get back together with her (I never quite bought this… it seemed a bit out of the blue, because nothing has really changed!)
  • And Dave the Laugh gets together with Ellen. Wonder why Georgia isn’t that happy about it?

WORDS OF HILAROSITY:

  • “I’m terribly sorry, madam, I seem to have shot the legs off your dog”
  • “Voles voleing” (I LOVE Georgia’s non-verb verbs).
  • “The twilight world of the elderly mad.”
  • “It’s like talking to a sock.”
  • “I said ‘I’m going to be a vet’. I don’t know why, as I’m not”.
  • “Rosie smoke quite a lot, doesn’t she?”
  • “She who laughs last laughs last.”
  • “As agog as two gogs.”
  • “They do not have poo in Buddhaland.”
  • “Can I eat your shirt?”

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