Magpie Memories – Knocked Out by my Nunga-Nungas

It is I, again, here with my third post on the Georgia Nicolson series!

In this instalment, Georgia goes to Scotland in a “hilarious” interlude, then returns to England. She continues to see Robbie but Dave the Laugh continues to be le mouche in the ointment as she can’t seem to stop getting off with him. Not that these books are usually bastions of high-octane plotting, but this one is even more aimless than usual because that is all that happens, which isn’t a criticism exactly but makes it harder to write a summary of!

THOUGHTS OF WISDOMOSITY:

• I got very confused at the start of this one because Miss Stamp, previously referred to as the PE teacher is also referred to as the maths teacher, but I guess it might just be a really small school?
• My least, LEAST favourite episodes in these books are when Georgia goes somewhere “foreign” and is “amusing” about it. I know I’m probably being a bit po-faced about it, but the whole Scotland trip drove me crazy. It’s portrayed like fucking Brigadoon. Also the only Scottish characters with any dialogue end up being sex-pesty and it’s just really stupid and URGH. And it’s not funny! It is exceptionally UNFUNNY.
• It’s really difficult to work out when these books were intended to be set. Georgia mentions mobile phones for the first time in this one, and I think she’ll go on to mention them several times. I’d presume that this makes her just a little older than me – mobile phones began to become commonplace here when I was around nine or ten. But we had a home computer around about that time, and Georgia literally never mentions that, or the internet, which, while not ubiquitous, was certainly pretty common around this time. It feels like that thing where people write teenagers as they were when they were a teenager, but sprinkle in a couple of more modern references to seem engaging to a more youthful audience.
• Jas victim blaming Georgia for being sexually assaulted reads very differently now, but I have been “lightly” sexually assaulted in this manner before and this is not a million miles away from what a number of people (including me!) right about this time.
• The way Rennison just keeps casually throwing in new background friends (this time Soph) is really weird to me – how many more friends can Georgia actually have? (Maybe this is me just showing my loserdom).
• Also, Rennison references her going out with Mark ten months ago, which is plausible (I checked the dates and it’s a little longer ago, but not much longer) but why reference time when it’s clear that you haven’t aged the characters?! I know I’m harping on this a lot but it makes me so weirdly unsettled – either exist in a non-aging world, or age the characters appropriately, not this weird mix! There was a Christmas in the first book as well which annoyed me similarly.
• It was during this one that I found myself wishing we’d got a TV series based on these books, rather than a film (I like the film but it’s nowhere near as funny or as silly as these books are). I started fancasting it my head and realised that what I want is the cast of the original two series of Skins to play most of the parts. I came up with: Nicholas Hoult as Robbie, Mike Bailey as Tom, April Pearson as Georgia, Hannah Murray as Jas, Joe Dempsie as Dave the Laugh, Larissa Wilson as Ellen, Kaya Scodelario as Rosie, and Georgina Moffat as Lindsay. Obviously it’s about a decade too late for this to happen now but a girl can pretend.
• The first mention of “away laughing on a fast camel” made me, er, laugh.
• Georgia’s confusion over DtL is obviously a huge part of what drives the books, and also allows the series to go on for as long as it did, but as I mentioned before, this has never made an awful lot of sense to me. Seriously, I would have been so undone by him.
• The Glove Animal beret works so much better for me than lunchbox beret – keeps your ears warm!
• I always thought Georgia caring so much about Angus getting neutered was really very weird. It’s a super-normal thing to happen to a lot of – maybe most! – pets, and it doesn’t seem like she would be as likely to mind that much.
• Odd-sounding fashion choice of the book: v-neck black leather vest (?!)
• This one has the first instance of “nip libbling” which is a phrase that has stuck with me to this very day and is exactly the sort of verbal mistake that I make when flustered.
• Also, I can understand the cheating for sure; I was similarly stupid when I was her age! And DtL is just making himself so much more available than Robbie, I guess for obvious reasons, but it still feels like he’s more of a proper presence in her life.
• I had totally forgotten about Henri, the young French student teacher. He seems like a liability in an all-girls school tbh.
• Rosie and Sven’s party is delightfully mad. They seem like a great couple, honestly. I have no idea what is going on with Rosie’s parents as they seem happy to let Rosie literally do whatever she likes.
• Like I said, not a lot happens really! That said, I enjoyed this because there was a LOT of DtL, which is basically what I am here for. I am ready for G to be done with Robbie, it is not exciting to read about their frankly very superficial relationship.

WORDS OF HILAROSITY:

• “Since dad came home her brain has fallen out.”
• “I can’t do multiplication very well, it’s too jangly for my brain.”
• “I am like a mirage. In a frock.”
• “You would get more sense out of a potato.”
• “Trousersnake addendums.”
• “There is nothing worse than loose pores.”
• “There is always a wet fish in the ointment.”
• “Jesus would never snog his mate’s boyfriend.”
• “I am a goosegog in my own country.”
• “I am a pop widow.”
• “Vati put his foot down with a firmhand.”
• “I had more important things to think about than the milkman’s trousers.”
• “‘Ello, welcome to the fish party.”